The Vegas...

So 2014 kicked off with a trip to Las Vegas for CES (the Consumer Electronics Show). At the time, there was a feck ton of snow all over the US (that’s a meteorological term), which resulted in lots of planes ending up without their crews and lots of people stranded in different airports across the country. Despite Las Vegas being nowhere near snowy, I ended up flying from London Heathrow to Los Angeles, as all other flights were full. 

Which would’ve been fine, except I slept through my alarm clock and woke up at 7.30am (I was supposed to leave by bus at 6.00am), which resulted in me shaking my better half awake, frantically screaming, “Oh my god!!! You HAVE TO DRIVE ME TO HEATHROW!!”

 

He did. I was already in the negatives on the girlfriend points scale for 2014 and it wasn’t even 10 days into January.

 

The even worse news was that the LA flight was also full (and I was on standby), so I had to sit in a jump seat. That was until a lovely crew member told me that there was a bed in First Class, but that the bed was broken and constantly in bed mode, and would I mind moving out of my jump seat for 12 hours and into a permanent bed… Er, no, I think that should be fine.

 

 

So, after 12 wonderful hours of snoozing, broken up by brief spurts of eating in bed with my legs crossed like a 13-year-old version of myself, I landed in LA. Bright eyed and raring to go.

Until three hours’ later when I still wasn’t through Customs... 

And then a further one hour waiting for my hire car…

And then a six-hour drive through the desert with only Spotify and an on-call Surgeon's monthly allowance of energy drink to keep me company...

(A stop off for some petrol in the middle of nowhere. A murderer's delight).

And then another hour wait to drop the car off in Vegas… 

And then a 20-minute taxi queue and ride from the airport to my hotel… 

And then a 40-minute queue at the hotel to check in...

And finally, I was settled in The Vegas. 

Now, if you've read any of my previous posts, you'll know that Vegas is my second least favourite place in the world. China wins (well done, you clever little superpower, you), but Vegas is a close second for me. This is because I like culture, the outdoors, natural beauty and have an aversion to neon lights. I've been to Las Vegas four times now so feel more than qualified to say that Vegas has no culture, no outdoors, no natural beauty and more neon lights than you could shake a lightsabre at. 

Of course, I'm talking about the Las Vegas Strip here. The Grand Canyon, Bryce Canyon and surrounding desert is absolutely beautiful. And cultured. And outdoors. And without electricity, a lot of the time (sorry, Hoover Dam).

Unfortunately, I don't get to see a lot of that so I'll just moan about the lights if that's all the same to you.

My hotel, The Luxor, is one of the less-extravagant ones, but does have a laser shining out of the top of it, which (according to my taxi driver) costs $2,000,000 a year to power. One light.

This makes it rather easy to spot, and it rather depressing to drive toward when you're still 2 hours' drive away, but can see your hotel the entire time in the distance. All gloaty-like.

I would talk about CES, but I try to keep work away from here (I prefer instead to just rattle on about the places it takes me to), but if you are interested you can of course read many a tech blog about what was announced at the show. The highlights for me were bendy TVs, wearable technology (resulting in me getting my FitBit settings wrong and now having the ability to lose 2,000+ calories in 40 minutes sat at my desk) and a gizmo that allows you to arm wrestle with your eyebrows. I kid you not. I watched this for about 30 minutes. It got pretty intense.

Despite my general apathy towards Las Vegas, I do seem to end up enjoying it a little bit more each time I go. This time I was fortunate enough to see a show at Caesars Palace called Absinthe. It was amazing. One of the best shows I've seen. 

It isn't for the easily offended (it's kind of a mix between Cirque du Soleil and an episode of South Park), but if you have an inappropriate sense of humour (which I absolutely do) then you'll be laughing and gasping throughout.

Other "sights" I'd recommend (and yes, I've used bullet points) are:

• Chateau Nightclub at Paris Hotel - A roof terrace, with a club inside, which overlooks the Bellagio (so you can get an exclusive view of the fountains at nighttime).

• Pure at Caesars Palace - A bit more classy than the inside of the Chateau. A table will set you back around $400, which is great for getting away from the dancing and entertaining clients, if you need to.

• 1-Oak at The Mirage - A little bit more "clubby", but in the summer apparently this is where the pool parties come into their own.

 

• The Hoover Dam - You can hire a car for the day for about $40 and it's about an hour drive away. I've never had time to do this.
• Bryce Canyon - I've been told that this kicks the arse out of the Grand Canyon. It's a 4-hour drive from the Strip, but apparently (according to my dad, who wants his ashes scattered "next to a rock there", thanks pops) it's one of the most beautiful places in the world. I've seen enough holiday slide shows over the years to think he may just be right.

• Take a run to the Las Vegas sign - As I've mentioned before, if you travel for work and don't get chance to see a place, set your alarm an hour early and run there. It'll keep you awake (initially, at least) and you'll get to see some touristy bits.

• Casinos. (Obviously) - I've never placed a single bet in Vegas (I'm becoming quite proud of this statistic), but I guess you can't go to Las Vegas without going into one and you certainly can't get anywhere without walking through one, so I'd recommend the Bellagio (for the plush carpets and nice atmosphere) and Circus Circus (for the complete opposite end of the scale - think 70s horror film). The highlight, in my opinion, is the free snacks and drinks, but whatever floats your boat. For me, during CES week, they're just a really inconvenient walk to work.

• Hotels. My folks can spend a whole day wandering around Las Vegas hotels. They're immense (the hotels, not my mum and dad). They also seem obsessed with copying cities around the world (again, the hotels), but the sheer scale and wealth just has to be admired (ok, so they've done well for themselves, but we're not talking aristocracy or anything like that... Sorry, I think it may be time to wrap up now).

Lastly, my top tip for any work-related (or otherwise) travel... If you do it a lot, is to always take a picture of your hotel room door. The number of times I've arrived back from a long day or night, a little bleary eyed, and had my Camera Roll save me from trying to break into a stranger's room because I stayed in a hotel room with the same number a few weeks before, is too many times to not do this every time I go away. Also works for airport parking too. You're welcome.